there is no hanky-panky at the ballot table

Yes kids, you heard me right. This is the Elections BC version of the no sex in the champagne room. I was not sure whether the reference was in “funny stuff” with the ballots or attempting to seduce the voting clerk.

Given that the judist will be serving his country (and naturally his wallet) by working as a Certificate Writer and an Absentee Voting Officer during the BC elections (Go Green Go) I had to attend a training session today. With exception of the utter lack of oxygen in the room (and they wonder why Canadians are so docile), the session was as expected, dry, boring, and full of crazy retired people. I don’t care what they say, Ross Perot was right, old people need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. BTW, the production company who made the instructional video for this “course” wins the prize for the least informational documentary of the year and the creepiest use of crappy digital synths in a government setting. Next thing you know they’ll be working for Michael Moore…or maybe they already are…tum tum tum…*cue in conspiracy music*

Now, for some public service announcements:

1. GO AND VOTE….I don’t care who you vote for, but preferably Green. And remember, even if you don’t like ANY of the alternatives, and in that case I do suggest you vote Green, you can refuse your ballot. You voice will be counted as being the whining, new age yuppy-hippy, yoga pretzeling, latte guzzling, seawall walking SOB that you are.

For those of you domiciled in a cave, the election is May 17^th and you can vote in any voting station. It doesn’t matter whether you are actually registered (although does help), they can register you on the spot. Advanced voting will also occur on May 11-14.

2. STV? Do you know what that means? No, it does not stand for Sexually Transmitted Values, you are not at risk of becoming a better person. But, if you are tired of having the meaningless majority governments that make you wish for the happy days of sniper rifles and clock towers, you should find out about the Single Transferable Vote proposal recommended by a panel of ordinary citizens after much consultation with the public, and being decided via a public referendum concurrent with the election. Elections officers are not allowed to answer questions about STV, so if you have been living in a hole for the past 6 months GO AND LEARN ABOUT IT.

This concludes today’s rant…I would just like to mention that being a responsible citizen and serving my country is naturally compensated for anti-social behavior manifested through driving at excessive rates of speed and scaring fellow drivers and poor defenseless passengers. Sorry Petr!